SimplyPynki's Xanga

I think I win a prize...

Tue, 08 Sep 2009 14:44:03 GMT

for worst blogger EVAH!

So, things going on.

Mercury turned 11 and started middle school. So far so good. I got evaluated for ADD this summer, and not shockingly diagnosed. Now, I take ADD meds (Aderall RX) and they really are quite helpful. I'm in classes again. This semester Physics, Statistics, and Biology. And for some reason I appear to be in bizarro land where my statistics grade is better than my bio grade. Not QUITE sure how that happened, but there ya go.

Jake is working from home now most of the time with monthly, or bi weekly trips to their business client, so he's home more. Which is helpful because MWF I have to be at the college for my Physics class.

We took our first family vacation like ever. We went to South Dakota and visited Wall Drug and the Badlands. Jake bought me a beautiful opal black hills gold ring. We visited Mt. Rushmore. Then we went to Colorado and camped in Rocky Mt. National park and did some hiking with the boys. We visited my sister who lives in Denver, and my other sister who lives in Kansas all before we came home. It was a 5 day trip full of car rides, but not a lot of squabbling until the last 4 or so hours home. During THOSE 4 hours I would have given you the kids for free I think.

So, that's what's going on in our world.

So... what have I been up to?

Mon, 27 Apr 2009 00:37:51 GMT

School.

I'm taking 4 classes. I have A's in all 4. I have two weeks left of class.

We went wireless.

Jake moved his office home.

I went to an anti-porn Feminist view documentary.

I was on the wrong side of the documentary, although I agreed with many of it's issues. I'll discuss that perhaps tomorrow.

Well Crap.

Thu, 23 Apr 2009 23:04:02 GMT

I've been good and absent haven't I?

I shall work on correcting that.

How We View Birth

Wed, 10 Dec 2008 13:51:41 GMT

As I was getting read y for today, getting ready to meet with my "advisor" at the college about my next classes to take this semester, I thought about why it is that I want to be a midwife in Iowa.

And the answer? There aren't enough legal midwives in Iowa. There aren't enough legal midwives who do homebirths in Iowa. The lack of midwives who are legally allowed to attend homebirths in Iowa leaves the women of Iowa at risk. This is something I CAN do something about. While nursing isn't a particular passion of mine, I can say that expanding women's options is, and changing how we as a society view birth is as well. So, nursing school, and then midwifery certification to become a Certified Nurse Midwife (CNM) it is.

I thought back through my four births. I thought how many of them COULD have been different if how we as a society view birth was different. How I viewed birth changed with the more kids I had, and as my friends themselves changed, and by extension the culture that surround births changed.

When I had my first son no one I knew had anything other than a hospital birth. The only books about birth I read were the ones the Ob's office gave me, and "What to Expect When You're Expecting". It goes without saying, it was a very medicalized view of birth.

With my second son not much had changed. I had "mommy" friends now, but we had all birthed in the same hospital. Half of us with the same doctor. I wasn't the only one with a c-section scar from my first birth, but we were in the small minority. I still didn't know that midwives still practised in hospitals, let alone attended homebirths. No one talked about staying home as long as possible to help with labor management. I went in to the hospital when contractions were 7 minutes apart and it was over 12 hours before our second son was born.

There was a shift with my third son. A slight shift. I knew there were midwives. I knew people who had birthed their children at home. U was still struggling between the view of birth that I had been... well, steeped in for so long, and this new view of birth that was emerging.

My third sons birth I was able to see the ways in which it was "managed" that weren't for my benefit, but for my doctors. Induction at 38 weeks with no signs of fetal distress, or maternal distress other than uncomfortableness. A LOOOOOOOOOOOOONG induction. Started at 7 am. That ended in an epidural and pitocin even though I had adamantly wanted to avoid those. This, is the birth that upset me. I could see why it was unneccasary, at least after the fact. My Ob should not have offered an induction at 38 weeks for no medical reason other than convenience.

I went over my third sons birth, and it is what changed how I viewed birth. There was nothing wrong with him that his birth should have been induced. There was nothing wrong with ME that his birth should have been induced. There was something VERY wrong with the system because I KNEW that my story was not uncommon.

When I got pregnant with my four son I was adamant that things would be different. They were, or perhaps I should say they were as different as they could be while still having the same doctor in the same office with the same hospital. Which is to say... not very. I refused the inductions that were being offered starting at 37 weeks. I labored on my own for most of my labor at home before going to the hospital. This birth made me angry. It is what truly propelled into the stance that I currently hold. How we view birth must change for the health and welfare of women, and their children.

Unfortunately, I do not see the way that women birth in hospitals changing much with the current status quo in place. The doctors are in charge, and the doctors like very much how things are working. What has to change is how WOMEN view birth. What we accept as standard practice. We need to accept that doctors are not gods. They do not know everything. They do have specialized information, and they should be

We need to see, and be told, and embrace, that birth is not this scary, scary thing fraught with pitfalls and traps waiting for the birthing woman. We shouldn't dismiss their advice simply because it comes from a doctor, or because of their attitude - though that can at times make it hard to do-, but we should understand that it is just that. Advice. Their opinion -educated though it may be. It is still only an opinion. Their recommendation. Worth listening to. Not gospel.

And so, I am off today to register for classes. To complete requirements to start the nursing course. To become a midwife. To help women birth as best they can.

Things I need to do this week...

Mon, 17 Nov 2008 15:08:45 GMT

(and instead I'm here on the Internet)

Clean the house. The whole house. We have people coming possibly Wednesday (the inlaws), Friday (our business partner and his spouse), and Sunday (my sister is coming for Thanksgiving)
The MOUNTAIN of laundry that happens when you have a family of 6
finish knitting my cardigan by Turkey day to wear to my Grandparent's house.
finish knitting the socks I'm working on.
Did I mention the house? Those of you who have ever visited will understand why it gets mentioned twice.

And what am I doing?

None of those!

So... IUD huh?

Thu, 13 Nov 2008 15:10:34 GMT

Yep. IUD. Got it. Not noticing any problems. No increased migraines, which I feared since the last time I was on any progesterone only birth control I got migraines 3-5 times a week.

It didn't hurt like the terribleness I'd read about online and was ready for. The doctor did say that the 4 full term births may probably left me with a pretty elastic-y uterus, and the 3 vaginal births left me with a very... pliable cervix all contributing to my not a whole lot of pain, just a bit of discomfort during insertion.

On the upside, my libido has sky rocketed. It's amazing what not having to worry about getting pregnant with that 5 child will do for a sex drive. So, anyone out there, had kids, don't want any more... at least not right now, looking for birth control that you don't have to worry about forgetting?

I say, go with the Mirena.

Or at least I say that right now.

Doesn't he deserve better? Don't you?

Wed, 12 Nov 2008 14:15:04 GMT

Lines I hate about motherhood.

Letting yourself go
The kids get everything, and I'm left with nothing
Doesn't he deserve better?
Don't you?
You don't want to look frumpy.

I hate them all. Because it all comes down to women being judged on how they look. And their worth as humans.

It's part of the reason I can't be down with Flylady.net. Put on make-up everyday. Wear SHOES even in the house... that tie.

It's not taking care of yourself that bothers me. Yes, TAKE CARE OF YOU! Because you are a PERSON and you should take care of you, because, quite frankly, no one else is going to. Not because you don't want to appear less than the sex goddess you once where.

Doesn't he deserve better? Hell no he does not. He deserves you just as you are.
Don't you deserve better? HELL no. I'm all for FEELING your best. That shouldn't be contingent upon wearing make up with an updo and perfume while cha-cha-ing around the kitchen wearing heels and cooking a rump roast!

LIFE is not a 1950's sitcom, and the fact that sooooo many people believe it is...is... baffling.

And even worse, are the women who BUY INTO IT! That we are only as good as we look. That by not working to achieve a proper face each day we are devaluing ourselves as women. Never mind the pure patriarchal bullshit that is FIRMLY tacked to that thought process.

This idea that women who have children have "let themselves go" is infuriating. GOD FORBID that as WOMEN we change after childbirth. That we CHANGE how we look. That the PHYSIOLOGICAL changes that happen during pregnancy leave any LASTING RESULTS that would in some way deviate from your pre-pregnancy body!

We are women. We give birth. We change during pregnancy. We are beautiful and wise regardless of our size, or the make up we wear or don't.

We should love ourselves as we are. We should do what makes US feel good.

Because we are PEOPLE.

Not because you think your partner deserves better than you are. Or that for some reason you are less than if you don't.

OH Ralph!

Sat, 08 Nov 2008 18:45:40 GMT

You made me agree with FOX NEWS! I hate fox news, or Faux News as I like to affectionately call it.

Uncle Sam or Uncle Tom? Really? That was your go to thought?! That you DEFENDED?!

Oh Ralph.

Why not A knight in Shining Armor, or a Toadie. Since you say toadie is what you meant.

But no.

You use Uncle Tom. A known racial epitaph. Synonymous with "house nigger". And you DEFENDED IT! Said you wouldn't choose a different phrase.

*sigh*

Damn it Ralph!

" To put it very simply, he is our first African American president, or he will be. And we wish him well. But his choice, basically, is whether he's going to be Uncle Sam for the people of this country, or Uncle Tom for the giant corporations"

*sigh*

Apparently even in the midst of the exuberance over Barack Obama being President Elect, some disillusion must fall.

Damn it Ralph!

YES WE CAN!

Wed, 05 Nov 2008 04:58:41 GMT

A historical moment.

Today, I voted for Barack Obama.

The 1st black president of the United States of America.

And I breathed a sigh of relief I didn't even know I'd been holding.

Yes we can.

So, what are you?

Sun, 02 Nov 2008 21:02:14 GMT

Is what I heard most of the night for Halloween night.

I suppose that's what I get for going with the sexy geeky costuming of Aeon Flux (movie, not cartoon).

It's a fairly good, low budget representation of this.

I was mistaken for Lara Croft of Tomb Raider fame,

which I can understand,
as well as Aeryn from Farscape.

All of them known to a slightly geeky crowd, and dead sexy. So, at least no one thought I was dressed up as their Auntie Lulabell... unless they have a rockin' hot Aunt Lu.

So, what were YOU supposed to be?